Ugly Duckling Syndrome

We've all heard the story about the Ugly Duckling that became a swan. It's a great story with a happy ending - what's not to love?

Like others, I went through a really awkward phase in middle school. I was taller than most kids my age and I was a bit chubby. It also didn't help my last name was "Goodyear". I was teased relentlessly, rumors were made up about me and my self-confidence was less than zero.

I didn't look in the mirror and see an attractive person. I saw a fat girl that nobody liked. People close to me told me for years, "You have such a pretty face", and it never escaped me that it was the very definition of a backhanded compliment.

I tried a lot of different hairstyles, but nothing made a difference. I went on diet after diet, but I hid food and kept eating. Food never made me feel bad about myself, and it always tasted so darn good.

By the time I was 13, I was fairly tall and more developed than other girls my age. I was awkward and very uncomfortable in my skin. My mom decided to get me involved in modeling, which was something I'd wanted to do since I was a little girl, but it was just as tough as dealing with my lovely classmates.

It was the early 90s and Heroin Chic was all the rage. At 5'8" and still growing with a true hourglass figure, I wasn't the Kate Moss anyone was looking for - not even close. I was more Anna Nicole Smith circa her 1993 Guess campaign than some skinny supermodel.

When I looked in the mirror, I never saw a swan. I wanted to; I wanted to see something stunning in the reflection. I just never did. I don't spend a lot of time in front of mirrors these days. I don't see the point. I've learned that who I am is not defined by what I see in the looking glass, and I can write my own story where the Ugly Duckling is the hero, not the beautiful swan.