I don't do well with putting myself first. It somehow feels wrong, like I'm being selfish or something. So instead, I help where it's needed and I focus on everyone else. In the meantime, my health and my personal life fall apart.
I have been on one date in the last four years. I don't feel comfortable in crowds or going out because I feel like I'm so grossly overweight that people will stare at me and poke fun. This hasn't happened, but it did happen a lot when I was a kid. It seems like I've always been fat. And people aren't very nice when you're fat.
I've always put others' needs before my own, but this habit escalated big time when my mother was diagnosed with Cancer in 2006. I don't regret the time we spent together, but I easily gained 100 pounds during the three years I took care of her. I then gained 100 pounds in the five years since she passed.
Now, I have to stop putting everyone else as a priority and remember that if I want to be around to help others, I have to take care of myself first.
This may not be a new idea, but it is new to me. I want a life full of love and happiness where I am confident in how I look and who I am. Making myself a priority isn't the answer, but it is a great place to start.
